Improbable 2016 Republican Presidential Candidate

Entrepreneur and media personality

Dennis Michael Lynch
Born: August 28th, 1969  (age 47)
Born and raised in New York, Dennis Michael Lynch (who prefers the nickname “DML”) was challenged with coming from a broken home when his parents divorced while he was 13. From an early age, he was forced to take responsibility for his younger brother, during days when they mother had no choice but to work long hours to make ends meet. His father is a former Marine and combat veteran of Vietnam, whose resultant Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and alcoholism have made Lynch into a staunch supporter of veterans' rights.

Originally training to be a professional baseball player, Lynch spent two years in Florida attempting to earn a place on a major-league team, but was unable to accomplish his goal. Frustrated, he returned to New York, where he founded a computer recycling business. At this, he proved a great deal more successful, and would go on to eventually build a number of formidable enterprises from the ground up. He is a studied film producer, and often appears on television as a political commentator. According to Lynch, he stood at the foot of the World Trade Center during the 9/11 terror attacks, and is on film placing himself between the loaded guns of the Bureau of Land Management and those of protesters during the Bundy Ranch showdown in Nevada.

Lynch is a decidedly conservative candidate, believing in lenient regulation on business, across the board tax cuts, and steep reductions in government spending. He also supports states' rights in the field of education, wishing to empower parents with school choice and the options of homeschooling and online schooling.

Blaming Obamacare for his family's loss of health insurance, Lynch is a great opponent of the Affordable Care Act and flatly declares he will work tirelessly to repeal the legislation. He supports “voluntary and mutually beneficial market exchanges” as an avenue to acquiring health care, and contends that each American is responsible for his own health.

Lynch is strongly opinionated on the issue of illegal immigration, and believes in putting a stop to it by reducing the incentive of illegal immigrants to seek jobs in the United States. To this end, he supports prosecuting employers who repeatedly offer jobs to undocumented workers, together with the construction of physical fences to block unlawful entry into the country.

No stranger to being in front of cameras, DML is a charismatic and diplomatic man who knows how to address a crowd. For better or worse, this is a critical skill in any presidential candidate, and should serve him well in his 2016 aspirations.

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